After-Life
by Nocturniquette
Summary: Master Chief is aboard the Infinity, grieving for Cortana when an unexpected present is given to him, giving him something that he desperately needs-closure. WARNING: May cause you have to have massive feels. Pairing: John x Cortana Chief may be a little OOC but think about it-he just lost the one person he's ALWAYS had contact with. Give it a chance, please?


Summary: Master Chief is alone in his quarters grieving for Cortana when an unexpected present is given to him by none other than the person he was grieving for.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

It was dark and quiet in the surprisingly spacious accommodations given to him by Commander Lasky. A lone figure sat on the floor, head bowed, and hands clasped together with his fingers interlaced.

It had been a week. It had been a week since...Cortana...it had been a week since she had passed on.

And he hadn't moved from his spot on the floor in that time. Just sat there in the same spot, in the same position, with the lights off and in complete silence.

He knew they were watching him closely, especially after his uncharacteristic display of anger earlier that week. So far, no one else had the balls to approach him. He didn't really blame them for that though.

Spartans weren't supposed to feel. He had been brought up with his lesson and later trained for it. It had made sense to him all those years ago when he first accepted Cortana's chip. He had just never thought that he'd grow close to her. But after spending, what, ten years with her? Not even he could control his emotions. He was beginning to doubt if anyone could. He was beginning to doubt a lot things lately...

He had to admit to being a bit hesitant and a little more than reluctant to have a person in the back of his head, knowing everything he thought and anticipating it before he did anything when he had first accepted her on The Pillar of Autumn. But Cortana hadn't done what he thought she would do. She didn't invade his private thoughts; in fact, she seemed to like talking more than anything.

A small wry, wistful smile appeared briefly on his lips before it disappeared.

He felt empty. His head no longer had her presence and he didn't know how to deal with the sudden silence in his head. She had always been talking. Telling him which direction to go, how to get past that enemy, how many enemies were in the room and just commenting in general.

She had always been there.

And now...she wasn't. He didn't know what to do now...

* * *

Commander Lasky watched the video feed of the Spartan with a sad look in his eye. He knew what it was like to lose somebody close to you...but he suspected that this was different for the other man in a lot of ways.

First of all, the man was a Spartan. Trained to not show emotion but to also ignore it. He was probably being overwhelmed with his memories and the sudden shock of all of these confusing emotions crashing over him like a massive tsunami. Lasky's heart thumped painfully in his chest. God he felt sorry for the poor guy.

Secondly...he didn't think the other man knew he was grieving in the way someone did when they lost someone truly precious to him. He suspected the other man knew he loved her, but hadn't actually _knew_ he loved her until she was gone. By then it was too late.

A knock on his door broke the Commander from his lamenting thoughts. Sighing heavily, he told whoever was on the other side of the door that it was open.

His unexpected visitor turned out to be a young Ensign. He read the woman's name-tag. It read Sanders. She was carrying a small package in her delicate hands. He frowned momentarily; what was in the box?

He watched her fidget in nervousness for a moment before addressing her.

"Yes, Ensign Sanders? What I can do for you?"

The short-haired brunette blinked rapidly for a moment (like she had forgotten the reason she came here), before she shook her head and began to speak, stuttering over her words a little.

"Th—this package c-came for you s-sir."

"I can see that Ensign." The young woman's face flushed in embarrassment.

"But...sir...it's also add-addressed to Spartan 117." she said, her black eyes looking down at the box for a short moment before looking back up at him.

Lasky frowned again. A present for the Spartan?

"Does it say who's it from?"

Sanders nodded. "It's from Dr. Halsey sir." she said with a little more confidence.

Lasky blinked in shock; what did the "Spartan Doctor" want with 117? Was it...it couldn't be could it? Could the Dr have somehow brought back Cortana?

"Leave it here Ensign. I'll deliver it to Master Chief personally."

She blinked in shock. "Sir, is-is that wise?" When he stared at her impassively, she continued to talk, her nervousness returning. "I just m-mean, look at what he did the l-last time any one approached h-him..." she trailed off, pretty sure she was in trouble now.

The Commander remembered recalled the incident very well.

_(flashback)_

_It had only been a couple of days since they gotten back the Chief and out of his Mjolnir armor. He had been given a designated room and was told his armor would be returned to him after upgrades/patches etc. _

_It hadn't been long before the rumor-mill aboard the Infinity started to talk about the return of the Chief sans companion. _

_Anyway some fresh-faced Spartans had started to loudly boast that the Chief couldn't have possibly done all of his heroics all by himself. Lasky remembered telling them to keep it to themselves, and they apparently hadn't. He really should have kept an eye on those two. But, he stupidly thought since they were Spartans that they would know better. Boy, had he been proven wrong. Once human...always a human, he guessed._

_They had eventually found out where the Chief had been given some space and they decided to mess with him a little. Yelling at him through the door. Harmless really, until they said the wrong thing._

_They mentioned that his heroics were a load of bull, he was only one man, blah, blah, blah. Until one of them had the mistake of saying that Master Chief couldn't possibly miss Cortana since she wasn't alive and wasn't a person. (They had never been given their A.I.'s yet and had no idea what it was like to have a constant companion with them yet.) That hadn't been their exact words, but it was definitely the **WRONG** thing to say. Especially to a Spartan who had sacrificed so much to save them all from destruction. Again._

_Commander Lasky remembered yelling into his radio to get security to Master Chief's quarters asap, knowing that the worst possible thing was about to happen on his ship. (He'd been monitoring the Spartan per Dr. Halsey's request; in case 117 started showing uncharacteristic symptoms: aggression, depression, that sort of thing.)_

_It hadn't mattered either way; by the time he and security showed up, the two Spartans, Coalson, and Depercher respectively, were already laid out on the floor unconscious. Despite having wore their Mjolnir armor, they hadn't stood a chance against an angered Master Chief, who even without his armor, was a very formidable opponent. _

_He would never forget the look of quiet, cold, hard rage in 117's dark eyes. _

He shivered at the memory. No he wouldn't be forgetting any time soon.

He blinked and came out his reverie only to see that Ensign Sanders hadn't moved from her position by the door, the box from Dr. Halsey still clutched firmly in her hands.

"Give me the box Ensign and get back to your post!" he suddenly snapped out startling the young woman into obeying and practically running out of the room after she dropped the small box on the corner of his desk.

He pinched the bridge of his nose to stave off the incoming headache. He glanced over at the box and sighed.

It was show time. He only prayed that he didn't end up like Coalson or Depercher...

* * *

Chief stirred at the sound of a knock on his door. He blinked momentarily when the door opened, causing the lights in his room to automatically turn on.

He stared as Commander Lasky came through the door and immediately saw that he was holding onto a small box.

He said nothing as the other man approached him.

"Master Chief." Lasky greeted.

"Commander." John greeted back, not saluting. He simply stood there and waited for the other man to continue speaking.

Lasky ignored the slight against him at the Chief not saluting. If he was honest himself, he probably wouldn't be in a saluting mood either after losing someone so close.

"This came for you not too long ago." He handed over the small box. "It's from Dr. Halsey."

The Commander watched the Spartan's motions as he looked down at the box and noted the odd but barely there trembling in his hands. The Chief turned away without a word and Lasky took that as the candid dismissal that it was for.

He quietly left and headed back to his own quarters to monitor the Spartan.

* * *

John stared at the box down in his hands, even as the doors closed, bathing him in darkness once again. He walked over to his bed and sat down, one of his hands unconsciously hitting the touch-lamp as he contemplated the box before him.

Was it...? Had Dr. Halsey managed to-?

With trembling hands, the Spartan carefully and gently opened the box. Inside lay a rectangular shaped object that was dark grey in color and had an odd pattern in the middle part that glowed eerily blue and purple.

He breathed in sharply as he recognized what it was: Cortana's microchip. Unbeknownst to him, tears sprang up his brown eyes as he looked down at the precious object in his hands.

Had she really been brought back...?

John placed the box down on his bed softly, lest he damage it, and turned toward his nightstand and turned on the DataChip Viewer that every room in the _Infinity_ had installed in them.

He reached inside the box and gently brought out the microchip.

He held it for a moment, just staring at it; watching the blue and purple light dance reflectively off the surface.

He opened the top of the DataChip Viewer. He took a deep breath, before placing the chip inside and closing the lid.

At first, nothing happened, and John could barely hold back the disappointment that swelled within him.

And then she appeared. In all her bluish-purple glory. _Cortana._

John gasped her name softly and reached a hand up to touch her form. His hand passed through her body and he couldn't stop the flinch in time as he took back his hand. _'Why had he thought she'd be real?"_

And then she started to speak.

"John...if you're getting this...then I must be gone." Cortana looked as sad as John wasn't supposed to feel.

"I made this while you were sleeping in the cryochamber...just in case the inevitable happened. It must have or you wouldn't be listening to this recording right now." A small wry smile lifted one side of Cortana's lips. It was gone as quickly as it appeared.

"We've been through so much haven't we?" she began again softly, her blue eyes just as soft. "When I first met you, I thought you were going to be one of those boring soldiers I heard so much about." Cortana laughed gently, and the sound made John's chest tighten painfully.

"But you proved me both wrong and right. You didn't talk a lot; not that I expected you to considering what you are. But when you did, you knew just what to say." For a moment she didn't say anything but she was looking off in the distance and John realized she must've been looking at him as he slept on in the cryotube.

The tightening in his chest increased but he ignored it, just like he ignored every other injury he received.

"I envied you, you know. I know what I am; an artificial intelligence. I was never supposed to be this human or act like this, but Dr. Halsey recognized that I was too valuable to be decommissioned and so let me be. I know what you are John; you're a human but you were trained to be more like me."

The irony didn't escape him and it hadn't Cortana either, if her unladylike snort was anything to go by.

"I'm glad your not like me John. You wouldn't be you if you acted any different...but yes, I, an A.I. envied a human. Do you know why?" "Because I wanted to...just once in my life...to touch you. To know that you were solid beneath my fingers. To know that you were really there..."

John was unaware of the silent tears tracking down his pale cheeks as he touched the spot on his chest where Cortana's hand had touched him a week ago.

"I think that I-I realized that I loved you after you saved me from the Gravemind."

John's dark eyes widened and his lips parted in a soft gasp.

"You're probably wondering why I never told you." Cortana smiled softly. "I guess I didn't want to lose you...but in the end I lost you anyway." Her smile turned sad.

"No...I lost you...you never lost me," John whispered, the guilt in his heart and mind choking him up.

"But I have to tell you this. Whatever happened, however I died, it wasn't your fault. It was never your fault. I know you did everything possible to save me and I will never forget that. Ever. You hear me? So stop blaming yourself for my death. And knowing me, you probably didn't even get a chance to."

Her image started fizzing in and out and John now knew she was experiencing rampancy issues.

"I know you John. You would've done everything in your power to save me—even from myself. You have no idea how much I appreciate you for that." Her image faded and reappeared several times before it became solid once again.

"I'm running out of time...I've been running out of time for a while now. But I just wanted to let you know much I appreciate you. Goodbye John. I love you. Don't forget me okay?" Cortana smiled cheekily at her last comment.

"Never," John whispered in response.

Cortana's image fizzled out and disappeared. John stared at the place where she had been standing for a long time, not caring about the wetness on his cheeks or the emotions swirling around inside him.

* * *

In another part of the ship, Commander Lasky closed down the video feed, tears pooling in his own eyes. Cortana had given Chief, no **John**, the closure that no one else could have. The poor man honestly deserved some respite from all the pain and emotional anguish that he was currently suffering through.

His phone rang, startling him, and he unconsciously straightened in his chair and cleared his throat before answering the call.

"Good afternoon Commander."

"Dr. Halsey. I must admit I wasn't expecting to hear from you."

"Yes, I hadn't expected to call you either Commander but something came up. Tell me, Commander Lasky, what do you know about Metastability?"

Lasky frowned.

"Nothing ma'am."

Dr. Halsey hummed softly. "It is an advanced A.I. stage where they become fully human during their rampancy. It is the so-called fourth stage that an A.I. may achieve during their rampancy if the rampancy itself doesn't destroy them. It's the holy grail of cybernetics research Commander."

Lasky's frown deepened. "Forgive me, Ma'am. But why are you telling me this?"

"We found pieces of John's A.I."

"You found-"

"Cortana. Yes, Commander, we found her."

THE END

* * *

P.S. What John has is a recording chip, not her ACTUAL chip. But he doesn't know that in case anyone was wondering why it was wrote the way it was.

P.P.S. I cried at the ending of Halo 4 when Cortana sacrificed herself to save John and stop the Composure. And if anybody was wondering what song that's played during that scene it's called Green and Blue and it's done by Neil Davidge from the band Massive Attack. He composed all of Halo 4's soundtrack.


End file.
